Thursday, November 06, 2008
so yes. 1.5+ hours b4 my biochem midterm n im blogging. why? cuz i realli need to get this off my mind so that I can concentrate on my exam n tomro's exam which im pretty much screwed for. ai. life oh life. so hard. i feel like a failure once more. haha why do i always seem to type that? >< maybe i have too high expectations for myself when i actually is that sucky..so i was just wondering. is it just me being a failure or is it actually hard to balance life once u have a boyfriend? to be honest. its so sad that everytime i spent time with him. i dun feel like anyone is approving it. or maybe its just cause. like someone is upset? im prolli too sensitive about it. but like she said. i shouldnt blame it on any one else, just like i am on my bf now. more like. its our problem. so i guess its back to the i cant balance my life with by bff during Uni life. why's that? here's a list of reasons or excuses u may call them
-school work
- bfs
- different classes, diff facualty
- diff jobs
- diff friends, too many friends. not me of course haha
- diff fellowship, sunday school
i think thats enough. one week is 7 days. 5 days is school. nv see each other at any classes. busy with school/other friends during spare time. bf and family fills up all spare time. other times, working. not school or work, then church commitments. no more the same fellowship hence, different friends. different agenda. different life. so how MUCH can u fit in a week? how MUCH can u fit in ur life? balancing it is definetly harder than it seems. when its hard to find much that ur in common with :( which sucks. cuz its not like u can realli control it. eg. classes. i guess there are definetly stuff u can control. for eg. frens. i can try to fren ur frens. etc. but why force urself to their circle? i dunno. its just so hard. hopefully we can think of a solution. all i can can think of it to....call each other twice a week? meeting up is hard. i dunno if that'll work. cuz honestly. its hard to update everiting. n then, it starts to surface itself n u forget all the details. n u're not included in each one's agenda. which is difficult. perhaps. care less? perhaps. just accept it?
n then, there's someone saying "its not that u dont have time, its that u dont make time" boom. now what. its priorities. changing. is hard. i feel so weak n tired that everithing i feel is "hard", i cant accomplish now.
life. is too much. so much in the sense that I cant realli take it animore. which is when, i kinda stop making friends. i have enough to deal with :(
maybe it'll be alright. maybe we'll find a way to deal with it. i hope i'll just grow up one day.
-school work
- bfs
- different classes, diff facualty
- diff jobs
- diff friends, too many friends. not me of course haha
- diff fellowship, sunday school
i think thats enough. one week is 7 days. 5 days is school. nv see each other at any classes. busy with school/other friends during spare time. bf and family fills up all spare time. other times, working. not school or work, then church commitments. no more the same fellowship hence, different friends. different agenda. different life. so how MUCH can u fit in a week? how MUCH can u fit in ur life? balancing it is definetly harder than it seems. when its hard to find much that ur in common with :( which sucks. cuz its not like u can realli control it. eg. classes. i guess there are definetly stuff u can control. for eg. frens. i can try to fren ur frens. etc. but why force urself to their circle? i dunno. its just so hard. hopefully we can think of a solution. all i can can think of it to....call each other twice a week? meeting up is hard. i dunno if that'll work. cuz honestly. its hard to update everiting. n then, it starts to surface itself n u forget all the details. n u're not included in each one's agenda. which is difficult. perhaps. care less? perhaps. just accept it?
n then, there's someone saying "its not that u dont have time, its that u dont make time" boom. now what. its priorities. changing. is hard. i feel so weak n tired that everithing i feel is "hard", i cant accomplish now.
life. is too much. so much in the sense that I cant realli take it animore. which is when, i kinda stop making friends. i have enough to deal with :(
maybe it'll be alright. maybe we'll find a way to deal with it. i hope i'll just grow up one day.
